Sometimes I joke that I peaked in the 4th grade. 4th grade was a great year for me. 

For one, my mom was my “classroom mother” for the school year. She was in charge of planning ALL of the class parties. For one party, she taught the class how to make English muffin pizzas. We got to watch them bake in the expansive cafeteria ovens. My classmates told me that I had the coolest mom EVER. 

I was also an anchor and camera operator for the school news station. Before the start of the school day, I transitioned independently from my classroom to the makeshift studio next to the librarian’s office. It was in that little production space that I first experienced the thrill of the camera light turning red, indicating that the camera was rolling and it was show time! 

That school year I was also cast in the role of “mountain” for the school musical, was selected to be class yodeller for our schoolwide singing showcase, AND became a published author. It was a good year. 

Becoming a writer

My 4th grade teacher was Ms. Nally. She encouraged me as a writer and was my first editor. She was also one of the first teachers to tell me that I was a strong writer. Although she did also note that sometimes I used too many adjectives. 

I became a published author because she submitted one of my poems titled “Rollercoaster” for publication in a children’s anthology of poetry. Seeing my name in print was transformative.

She also taught the class how to write persuasive letters. Most of my classmates chose to write to the school principal or their parents, but I chose to write my letter to President Bill Clinton. I was deeply upset about the government’s inability to balance the federal budget. I’d heard on the news that if the federal budget wasn’t balanced the National Parks would be closed. That summer my family was traveling to the Grand Canyon and I did not want my vacation to be ruined. I mailed my letter to the White House and waited for a response.  

President Clinton and Congress were ultimately able to balance the budget. A few weeks before our trip, I received a letter addressed to me from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. I ripped open the letter, read President Clinton’s words, saw his signature, and came to believe that my writing had power! 

Honoring my childhood self

4th grade was a great year. I like to think that as “Tidy Dad”, I’m still honoring my childhood self. 

You know me as Tidy Dad, but I’m also just Tyler. I’m a dad, husband, and teacher, sharing my fatherhood journey and perspective on the world. I live a simple, joyful life in New York City with my family. I continue to believe that writing and storytelling has the power to transform people’s lives. 

Early in my fatherhood journey, I often felt alone in my experience. Fatherhood transformed my head and heart, and in many ways I wasn’t prepared for the mental and emotional challenges that I would face. 

An avid reader, I would often go to stories for examples of how to process what I was experiencing. Unfortunately, I found that I often felt alone in the stories on fatherhood and parenthood that I read. 

Early fatherhood struggles

When I read children’s books to my daughters, I found that fathers were often characterized as clueless, messy, or inattentive. OR they were characterized as the parent who worked long hours, but then would swoop in to save the day and let the kids have all the fun! The same was true when I read parenting books. So many were written by women and spoke to the motherhood experience. While incredibly valuable to many moms, I didn’t see myself in those stories either. 

I found my personal fatherhood journey to be multidimensional and emotionally layered. I continued to not feel represented in the stories that I read. So I started writing my own, and I’ve discovered a creative outlet for living out my childhood dreams. 

Writing as Tidy Dad

I’ve been sharing my journey as a Tidy Dad for over four years now. In college, I was a journalism major before switching to education. I have always enjoyed writing and speaking on camera. I have found a creative outlet that blends those skill sets together, sharing stories and my fatherhood journey online. It has been a creative platform for living out my childhood dreams and honoring my childhood self.

I’ve written about my mental health struggles and my struggles to balance work with the joys and stresses of parenthood in Tidying Up My Life. I’ve shared strategies that we’ve used to maintain our small space and evolve our space to meet the growing needs of our family. I’ve also written about how we’ve established a “just enough” philosophy in our lives and how as a family we are trying to carve out our own individual path forward.

I’ve also shared my reflections on Expectant Fatherhood and Early Fatherhood. As I’ve shared my story, I have connected with other dads who have experienced similar life trajectories, and others who have followed very different paths. I have asked other dads to also share their thoughts on the question “What is Modern Fatherhood?”. I have shared their reflections on what it means to be a dad, and the kinds of relationships they want to have with their kids.

I love being a dad. I love teaching. I love writing and sharing as Tidy Dad. 

I’m not perfect, but I’m on a journey to tidy up my life and focus on what truly matters. I share the systems, rhythms, and routines that are working for our family.

Tidy Dad 2.0

Next school year I’m transitioning down to 4 days of teaching. I’d like to write a book, and look forward to having the additional day off to write and share more of my stories. Stepping down from my school administration job and returning to teaching was the first curve that I threw into my straight-lined career trajectory. In some ways, my decision to reduce teaching days at work is another. I feel like I am once again embarking on a journey to tidy up my life as I try to balance all of the things. But I’m learning that there’s joy in leaning into the curves. 

Words have meaning. Words have power. You can write or speak a message, and it can communicate your thoughts and feelings to other people, and that can change the world.

I’m realizing that I didn’t peak in 4th grade. 4th grade was simply one of my first creative launching points. I think my childhood self would be proud of me now.

I feel like I’m at the precipice of another, and I appreciate you following along with my journey. 

Are you honoring your childhood self?

I’m still in the process of tidying things up, and I imagine that you are too.

This could be a great place for you to reflect. Are you honoring your childhood self? If you could think back to your elementary school self, what did you imagine yourself to be doing as an adult?

For me, “honoring your childhood self” meant giving myself permission to put a curve in my path and pursue a creative passion. What could it mean for you?

Thanks for pinning: Honoring Your Childhood Self

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